I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
