im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
