I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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