Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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