Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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