i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think i got beer on your cat.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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