i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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