there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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