Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
