Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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