This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
