apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
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You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
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The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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