Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
