i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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