i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
