Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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