the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
