i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
