ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
