We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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