I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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