I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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