Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
