that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The adults are the big ones right?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
