UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize