OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
