Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
