if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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