You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
