thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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