420 ftw
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
