My sheets look like a crime scene.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
