You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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