I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
