Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
