Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
