I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
