Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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