as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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