I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just cropdusted the office
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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