You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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