In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
