so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dear god my vagina.
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