I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
