I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
