I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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