She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
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I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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