What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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