I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
im on a boat
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