Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize