CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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