Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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