That's intense
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
