Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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