I'm gonna have a badass scar
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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