You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
