It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
