she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
