She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
