The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
