Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Your cock deserves a montage
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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