it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do herpes really smell.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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