sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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